"Who? Man?" by Sage Keeler
Q: 4525 - is Man still alive?
Does he have enough elbow room left to survive?
Has he mastered the craft of celestial flight?
Does he still believe that the end is nigh?
Is he still being polite?
Would you care to contribute your professional incite?
A: Our research shows that by this point in time
Man will have grown to incredible size:
Roughly 350 to 1,000 ft. high!
To fight spatial constraints we theorize
That man stacks himself in a columnar style
Resembling giant fleshy voltaic piles
A mass multi-level piggyback ride
That can stretch up into the sky for miles!
Thus Man leads a relatively stagnate life
Feeding on whatever happens to float by.
A: No no no no, you could not be less right!
Everyone knows man will miniaturize!
Simple science will show that by 4525
The Earth will be cloaked in a thick sheet of ice
With surface temperatures not even disease could survive!
Thus forcing Man down underground to find
A slightly more inhabitable degrees Fahrenheit.
Here he will live as a trogolodyte
Burrowing deep through the peridotite
Creating vast networks of tunnels and hides.
About as small as a mole and exactly that blind
Man will explore his more vulnerable side
Slithering up to find safety at night
Among an inverted forest of cage stalagtites.
Minerals, limestone and milky calcite
Will quench his strange new appetite.
A: I’m afraid you’re both wrong – there’ll be no change in size
Instead Man will have become mechanized.
You see, Man and Machine, through a period of time
Will become perfectly hybridized.
Truly exquisite models of Future Science!
Man’s supple skin will petrify
And take on the silvery sheen of iron
To house the circuitry and wires
That have merged with his tissues and assorted insides.
Most communication will be accomplished by
Simply uploading data to the Primary Hard Drive
Yet Man will continue to vocalize
Though his voice is completely synthesized.
Creating symphonies of lows and highs
In frequencies beyond devine
That would deafen modern passersby.
A: All your theories are as rotten as tripe!
You science folk are all alike;
Thinking everything fits into numbers and types.
The answer is really far more concise:
By forty-five hundred twenty-five
Man will have shed all physical confines
And become a collective of disembodied minds
Floating through infinite space and time
And communicating through telepathic device.
It would be a truly spectacular sight
If it only were visible to the naked eye!
You see, Man will only be identified
By sporadic glints of refracted light
As he flows through the water that once gave him life!
A: Excuse me, I don’t mean to be impolite
But I’m from the future and was just passing by
When I heard your discussion and thought that I might
Contribute some of my professional incite.
It started when Man was trying to decide
On one universal How, When and Why?
But they could not come to compromise
And soon a brutal war transpired
Resulting in self-inflicted speciocide
Extinguishing every last human alive
Save for a few sorry souls who managed to survive
But then no one has seen them for quite some time.
What happened to Man in 4525?
Well to put it quite bluntly: Most likely, he died…
✞ U N O ✞